Years ago, I temporarily lost track of my age.
I was 34 at the time, but somehow I’d gotten it in my head that I was 35. One day my wife and I were talking with a friend who asked my age. I told them. As we walked away, my wife said, “Um — you’re not 35!”
I’d been telling people the wrong age for months.
How did this happen? My brain had filled in a gap and created a “fact” I never actually verified. Then, through repetition — telling story after story about being 35 — it became true in my mind. I stopped questioning it because I’d integrated it into my identity.
The same thing happens with other stories we tell about ourselves.
You might think of yourself as someone who takes care of your health — when really, that was something you stopped doing years ago.
Or you consider yourself a good listener — when actually, that’s a behavior you’ve neglected since getting promoted.
Or maybe the opposite is true and you’ve outgrown a bad habit without realizing it. Maybe you used to hate speaking in front of a group, but by now you’ve done it so many times that you’re quite skilled — and it’s time to let go of the anxiety you feel about it.
It’s easy to operate on autopilot with information that we haven’t double-checked recently. The stories we tell repeatedly become our reality, even when they’re outdated.
The good news is that recognizing the truth is the first step to being able to change the situation.
What story are you telling about yourself that might need updating?
What might you be moved to do, if you saw yourself as you really are?
