Dirty Pots & How To Wash Them

“Do you have a plan for that pot in the sink?”

My wife and I were cleaning up the kitchen one Sunday after cooking meals for the week.  And she asked me this question.

I reacted defensively. In my mind I’m thinking I haven’t gotten to it yet! I’m over here cleaning off the mixing bowls. Get off my back!

I started to respond this way, when my wife stopped me.

“Hold on.  I’m not upset with you. I was asking if you had a plan for the pot, because if not I’m happy to wash it.”

Oh.

Luckily my wife could see what was happening, and she diffused the situation before it took off.   But you can imagine how easily my defensiveness could have escalated a simple question into a heated argument.

We can also imagine how much better this might have gone if I’d simply answered her question. “Hmm, no, I don’t have plan for it yet.”

This happens all the time in the workplace.   One person asks a question:

  • Do you know where the Penske file is saved?
  • Is the analytics report complete?
  • Do you know why Dan was so upset this morning?

And if we’re busy or on-edge, it’s easy to read hidden intent into the question:

  • I have no idea! Why are you asking me?  Why should I know?  I’m busy.  Isn’t it your job to keep track of these things?

And we miss the fact that these are yes/no questions that have simple answers: “No, I’m not sure where the file is”.

A key part of any dialogue, is to hear the question being asked, at face value, and answer it. Sometimes, that’s all there is to it.

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  • Next week we will launch the first online course offered by The Questions Company titled ‘Essentials of Team Leadership’, designed for folks who are leading a team for the first time. This will include dozens of communication tactics on topics like setting expectations, providing direction, handling requests, and giving feedback. Details will come in next Wednesday’s newsletter.ng them solve this problem. You’re helping your team develop the resourcefulness to resolve any issue when they’re stuck.

To learn more about how The Questions Company can help you and your team, please schedule a consultation.

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Stephen Mayo

A Seasoned Executive and Consultant, Stephen Mayo is the founder of The Questions Company, bringing an innovative coaching approach to help leaders get their busy workload under control so they have the bandwidth to make even greater contributions.

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