Last week, my wife and I started something new.
We created a simple morning and evening schedule—just enough structure to set clear expectations about who’s doing what, when.
In the mornings, it’s about the kids:
- If one of them wakes up early, who gets up so the other can finish sleeping?
- Who’s focused on the kids, and who’s getting ready for the day or jumping into a task for work?
In the evenings, it’s about getting dinner on the table, getting the kids to bed, cleaning up the kitchen, and winding down—so we have a few quiet minutes together before lights out at 10pm.
It’s not rigid. But it’s clear.
And a week later? We’re both feeling the difference.
- We’re more rested.
- We’re more clear about who’s doing what, when.
- There’s less duplication — no more both of us doing a task one of us could handle.
- And there’s less decision fatigue, especially around those little choices that can drain us — like whether to stay up late and squeeze something else in, or go to bed.
The other night, my wife smiled and said,
“This new schedule—it feels like a hug.”
And she’s right. It reaches around from the start and the end of the day and gives us a firm, loving embrace.
It made me realize: this is the kind of “policy” I want everywhere in my life.
I want habits that are good for me and feel good. Habits that treat me like someone deserving of respect and encouragement.
Not rules fueled by guilt or self-chastisement—“c’mon, you’ve got to go to bed earlier” or “you’d better work harder, or else.”
Instead the hug is a habit shaped by care. It’s built with language and a routine that reminds me to do what aligns with my values—because I want to, not because I’m supposed to.
What about you?
- Is there a place where you’re ready to shift from admonishment to encouragement?
- Where could you add a routine that nourishes, instead of one that just squeezes or pushes harder?
- Where in your work or life could you use a little more structure…perhaps that feels like a hug?
Reply and let me know—I’d love to hear. Thanks.
